Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Barsexuality is the new black.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
