just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
