As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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