I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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