only if we run a train.
done.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize