yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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