Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
