Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
