the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
