Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I said "one day" and that day is not today
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize