tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm really busy with my period
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