This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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