my phone needs a breathalizer
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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