ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Randomize
