I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
