Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
