Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
