whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
