I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Randomize
