Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
