summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
