If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
