ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I think a kid would responsible me up
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Randomize
