Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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