rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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