Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
