dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
