I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
