at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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