dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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