Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
