the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
