By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
