Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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