dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
