I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I understand Curling. That high.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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