Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
