:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
