NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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