My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
