Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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