True but thats because hes a fetus.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
