we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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