Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
