then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
