we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
