the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
