Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
