Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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