yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
