Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
