He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
