remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
