He kissed a someone with a penis
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Boobs are out for the taking
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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