haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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