what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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