Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
