Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Randomize
